| I Promise to...Ah, Forget it! |
| This is the time of year when most columnists either write about the “ins and outs” for the coming year (SUVs are “Out,” mini-vans are “In”), or they write about their resolutions (“I promise to lose 25 pounds by June.”) |
| I tried both of these approaches for this week’s column and neither worked. When I tried to localize the “ins and outs” approach I appeared to be cynical, sarcastic, or just plain mean. (OK! I know that may not be all that different to some of you!) |
| For instance, “Out” are barking dogs and “In” is no dogs. That was sure to anger just about everyone, so I dropped it. Then I wrote, “Out” is Mexican food and “In” is Anita’s. Since Chuck Curcio at Tortilla Factory is bigger than I am and the “In” is a real slam on Anita’s, I decided to let that one drop as well. |
| Then I asked reporters and other editors about their “ins and outs” for the coming year. They told me to get lost. I took that to mean that they didn’t have any ideas either. |
| Do you? |
| So I took the next approach: “My resolutions for 2001.” I think every resolution I ever made never lasted past my birthday, which is toward the end of February. So that probably wouldn’t work either. Anyway, who cares about MY resolutions? |
| Then earlier this week I read an article in The Washington Post’s Health Guide. It was about easy ways to keep your resolutions. For instance, instead of promising to watch less television, vow to remove your television from your bedroom. Now that’s a resolution even I could probably keep. |
| So I decided what actions we all need to take to help us keep those New Year’s resolutions. |
| • Want to lose 25 pounds this year? Instead of punishing yourself by not eating all the things you enjoy, just eat less—as in less pizza. |
| • Want to read more books in 2001? The easy way, I figure, is to keep the book next to your bed with your reading glasses on top of it, instead of in the kitchen. Anyway, there’s no TV in the bedroom any more. Right? |
| • For those of you who want to spend more time with your children, pick out an afternoon or evening when everyone MUST be home by 5 p.m., eat dinner planned by the children, don’t turn on the television (bring out the games), and sing songs. |
| • I want to spend more time with my wife, Betsy. But instead of setting aside a certain day every week (we both work at The Observer so our schedules are terribly erratic), I promise to tell my staff that Betsy and I will be gone from Thursday through Monday during a certain week, even though I have absolutely no idea of what we will be doing. |
| OK. So far so good. I may be able to keep some of these resolutions. Here are some more. |
| • For those of you who want to get more exercise, don’t resolve to walk two hours, three days a week; get a dog. |
| • Want to volunteer more? Don’t resolve to put in four hours every Saturday. Just visit a group that uses volunteers and ask them: “Need some free help?” |
| Be assured they’ll say yes and when you should show up. (See, you didn’t promise to volunteer, but only to show up at the Embry Rucker Shelter.) |
| • Want to learn to cook? Buy some really expensive food that will spoil in 24 hours. Then grab your cookbook. |
| • Want to keep your house cleaner? Entertain more. |
| • Want to entertain more? Pick up the phone and invite people over. Then you HAVE to feed them! |
| • Want to learn how to sing? Join the church choir—they’ll take anybody. |
| • Want to make a resolution for 2001? Don’t think of the goal, think about how you can achieve it. You just might reach it! |
| And that’s Our Town this week. |
